All About Orgasm

Easy G Spot Orgasm

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Orgasm - Clitoral, Vaginal, And Whole Body Orgasm

As we all know, orgasm is the climax of lovemaking, the point at which all the tension and powerful sensations built up during sexual arousal are released in a climactic burst of physical, spiritual, and emotional pleasure. Both men and women can experience the highest levels of satisfaction and fulfillment during orgasm, but it's important to realize that orgasm need not be restricted to the genitals, since it can be a whole-body experience that goes far beyond the pelvic area. In a whole-body orgasm, both men and women can experience great satisfaction and pleasure as sexual energy pulsates in waves passing through their body and all the way up to the heart and brain.

For women, this whole-body orgasm is achieved in a variety of ways, most especially through stimulation of the G spot. You don't have to be a follower of Freud to understand that there are in fact two forms of orgasm for women: the clitoral orgasm and the vaginal orgasm. They differ in that vaginal stimulation – on the area of the G spot, to be exact – activates an additional set of nerves called the pudendal nerves which produce different, more emotional sensations during orgasm than the nerves which are activated during clitoral orgasm.

The reason that many women dispute the existence of vaginal orgasms is that the G spot needs to be sensitized to stimulation before it will produce the profound climactic release which is possible. Indeed, the G spot "holds" sexual injury, sexual abuse, and emotional abuse, and effectively serves as a body memory of every time that a woman takes place in a sexual act without complete commitment and openness. So the memories stored in the G spot can stem from the anger induced by outright sexual assault, to the emotional consequences of reluctantly engaging in sexual intercourse, through to the shame and guilt of agreeing to unwanted sexual acts. Like all body memories, those held in the G spot need to be released before that part of the body is completely functional, totally sensitized to stimulation, and fully responsive.

This release of repressed memories can be achieved by gentle but firm caressing over a period of time by a partner who is fully loved, or at least trusted and respected by the woman. This needs to be done against the background of an established relationship because massaging the G spot can produce a dramatic emotional catharsis: anger, tears, unexplained giggling - and many more emotions - may be expressed, often quite intensely; they represent all the repressed emotion that a woman felt at the time of the event when, instead of being expressed outwardly, the emotion was stored in her body. You'll gather from this that the G spot is like an intelligent nerve centre inside the genitals; it serves almost like the solar plexus but specifically functions around sexual issues, in the broadest sense of that term.

These emotions are not directed at the woman's partner in the here and now, nor are they specifically to do with the woman or man who is stimulating a woman's G spot, and since they may be intense, it takes a mature and trusted partner to accept the emotional release without taking it personally.

For men, extended orgasm can be achieved by development of the skill of prolonged sexual arousal without ejaculation. One of the best ways as a man can achieve this is by asking his partner to stimulate him up to the point just before he feels that climax is inevitable. It is possible to hover around this point for extended periods of time with on-going, very gentle stimulation. This pre-orgasmic level of arousal is known in the terms of the sexual response cycle (originally described by Masters and Johnson in the 1960s) as the plateau level. Men are able to experience prolonged pre-orgasmic sensations of great intensity for up to an hour or even more. When this level of stimulation is combined with prostate stimulation, and a man feels no urge or need to ejaculate, he is well on the way to the experience of whole-body orgasm. It is also a great way to stop premature ejaculation and ensure sexual satisfaction for both partners.

Of course, for both sexes, there is slightly more to it than that: it is also necessary to have cleared blockages in one's Chakras, so that the sexual energy can easily flow up the energy meridians of the body from the genitals. You can think of this as a process of developing sexual energy in the genitals, and then distributing it upwards throughout the rest of the body to produce the fantastic sensations of extended orgasm.

Can masturbation spoil heterosexual response?

In extreme cases it can, but it can also, in certain circumstances, improve heterosexual response. By definition heterosexual response is response to another person (of the opposite sex), and it involves emotion and commitment. lf masturbation is used as a means of avoiding involvement, emotion, and commitment over a long period of time, it can result in the person becoming so fixed in a self-regulated mode of sexual release that he or she is incapable of a full heterosexual response.

The ability to surrender completely to one's partner and to sexual feelings is essential to a full response; the practice of masturbation does not train this ability but, on the contrary, enables control of the How of sexual feeling. But this reservation applies only when masturbation is the primary or sole mode of sexual release. Kinsey found that women who had practiced masturbation experienced orgasm in the first years of relationship sex more frequently than those who had not, and Masters and Johnson have found that some problems of anorgasmia can be overcome by training sexual response through the use of masturbation.

Is it in any way harmful to go without sex for a long period?

It depends on the age and circumstances of the person concerned. In a sense, no one goes without sexual outlets of some kind for long periods, but if we are talking about the pros and cons of celibacy, this does no harm provided the sexual energy does not get pent up into frustration but ends expression through physical or creative effort. People who can thus channel their sexual energy for a long period are rare, however.

It has often been observed that regular sexual activity is conducive to longevity and physical vigor in later life, and that the sexual function tends to decline and the physiological processes concerned atrophy somewhat if they are not exercised. So to go without sex for a long period in later life can be harmful in the sense that the body may no longer produce and release sufficient quantities of the hormones that promote youthfulness as well as sexuality.

Should sexual intercourse between lovers result in simultaneous orgasm?

The fact that the woman's vaginal muscular contractions at orgasm occur at the same intervals as do the man's genital contractions suggests that simultaneous orgasm is nature's supreme reward for successful sexual performance, but in fact these synchronous contractions are meant primarily to help the sperm along their way to the womb. In other words, physiologically the simultaneous orgasm serves a reproductive function as distinct from a sexual function. Few men really know how to make a woman come anyway, but this skill can be developed.

Psychologically it may enhance a couple's sense of union if they reach orgasm together, but on the other hand there is much to be said for the non-synchronous occurrence of orgasm. Provided that the interval is not too long, the joys of giving and of receiving the consummation of love can be enjoyed as two distinct experiences. Certainly, success in making love does not depend on the achievement of simultaneous orgasm, and failure to achieve it does not signify any inadequacy in either partner or in their relationship.

Do people have the best chance of a lasting sexual relationship if they are basically similar or if they are basically opposite?

The reason heterosexual couples are supposed to remain erotically interested in each other longer and more intensely than homosexual couples has been assumed to have something to do with the attraction of opposites. Profound sexual gratification proceeds from the release of built-up tensions, and it is a fundamental principle of life that tensions build up through the interaction of opposites.

Couples who interact strongly, and who remain independent and unpredictable individuals, are more somewhat likely to build up a sexual charge repeatedly over a period of time than couples who are basically similar. But on the other hand, relationships do not usually endure on the strength of the sexual bond alone, and a basis of rapport and shared interests and values is generally a precondition of lasting sexual attraction.

Does sexual desire vary at different times of the month?

Yes, it does, in men as well as women, although of course women have in the menstrual cycle a clear point of reference for their monthly variations in sexual feeling. No pattern is constant for everyone, however. Many women find that their sexual desire is intensified just before, during, or just after a period. In others, premenstrual tension may lessen sexual desire. Some women are more sexually responsive in the middle of their cycles, particularly at the time of ovulation.

Men are not usually aware of any periodicity in their sexual feelings and most are susceptible to arousal at any time, but modern studies of biorhythms have revealed that men have a 23-day physical energy cycle and a 28-day emotional cycle, and both of these effect their sexual feelings and readiness for arousal at any particular time. In long-term relationships the biological rhythms of a couple come to interact and mesh.

Can a man tell if a woman has had an orgasm?

There is no female sign of orgasm so obvious as the rapid detumescence of the man's erection, but there are other signs such as deep, rapid breathing and muscular spasms throughout the body (especially involuntary rhythmic contraction of the anus), so that when a woman has a strong orgasm the man may know. But not all orgasms are so intense as to produce these signs, and a woman may experience orgasmic satisfaction without giving any clear demonstration of the fact.

Sometimes women pretend orgasm or pretend that their feelings are more intense than they actually are, and these pretenses are difficult for a man to detect. Some non-orgasmic women pretend for years without their partners or lovers ever suspecting, and although they probably consider that they do this for the best of reasons, in fact they may be doing irreparable damage to the relationship by subordinating their own need for a sexual outlet. lf a woman often experiences orgasm, her man may possibly know when she does not by the feeling of unresolved tension and restlessness in her body, and if he is no longer able to complete the process for her with his penis, he can still do so manually or orally.

It is usually obvious when a man has had an orgasm, but some men who have delayed ejaculation may feel the need to feign orgasm and ejaculation. The best way to deal with such a situation is to find a good delayed ejaculation cure that works and to encompass intimacy and openness into the sexual relationship.

What differences between male and female sexual response should a man be aware of when making love?

He should be aware that, generally speaking, a woman's sexual arousal builds up more slowly than a man's. He should be aware, too, that all of a woman's body is responsive to stimulation, and that general body caresses should precede genital touching. He should also bear in mind that any break in the process of arousal, any interruptions that may occur, can mitigate the effect of the stimulation achieved up to that point. He should further remember that sex has a dual purpose - reproduction and pleasure - and that while penis - vagina penetration is essential to reproduction, it is only one mode of pleasuring and should not be engaged in to the neglect of others.

What does it signify if a woman cries after intercourse?

It may signify that she has had an orgasm, which as an experience of flooding release, of really letting go, can mean a variety of pent-up emotions are expressed. In his studies of the physiology of orgasm, Wilhelm Reich noted that because it involves the relaxation and spasm of muscles all over the body, if certain muscles are locked they can block the flow of sexual energy and prevent orgasm from occurring.

Muscles become locked when emotions are suppressed, and when the muscular tension is released the emotion may be released, too. The emotion of sadness becomes locked in the small muscles of the face, and the tide of sexual feeling as it flows toward orgasm may thus release pent-up sadness, even if the emotion has nothing to do with the situation or the relationship. Another reason a woman may cry is that she may have found some of the preceding sexual activity extremely painful, or it may even mean that she has not achieved orgasm but cries as an alternative form of release for the sexual tension thus built up.

What is the difference between ejaculation and orgasm, and can one occur without the other?

Ejaculation and orgasm are two different body processes, and although it; is desirable that they should occur simultaneously, often they do not. Semen can exude from a man's penis after a period of stimulation without his feeling anything in particular, and the experience of orgasm can be felt without any ejaculation - for instance, in preadolescence, after removal of the prostate gland, or when a man has made love so many times in succession that his reservoir of semen is exhausted.

When orgasm occurs without ejaculation in such circumstances there is nothing to be concerned about, but when ejaculation occurs without orgasm the person should advice from a doctor and sex therapist. Indeed, if a man has trouble ejaculating, a condition known as delayed ejaculation, he may be too embarrassed to seek help from a doctor, in which case a home based delayed ejaculation treatment such as this one may help.

How often does the average woman experience orgasm?

Taking the Kinsey sample as an indication, one answer is that she experiences orgasm through intercourse six times out of ten when she is a young woman and nine times out of ten when she is older and more experienced. The female orgasm, however, often occurs through the sexual stimulation that precedes or follows phallus-vagina contact.

If by "how often" is meant how many times a week, the Kinsey finding was that in married women the incidence of orgasm was 2.2 times per week at age 20 declining to 0.8 times per week at age 50; in unmarried women the average incidence remained about 0.5 times a week between the ages of 20 and 50. The Hite Report suggests that of women who experienced orgasm and who masturbated, 96 percent experienced orgasm "regularly" during masturbation.

Is there anything wrong with having sexual intercourse while menstruating?

There is no medical reason to avoid intercourse while a woman is menstruating, but if she suffers severe period pains a woman will probably not desire sex at this time. Also, many couples find the blood produced unaesthetic, and prefer to wait until the period is over before resuming sexual activity. There are circum- stances, however, in which other considerations may override this - for instance, if a couple is reunited after a long time.

In fact, the flow of menstrual blood tends to slow down during intercourse, though an in- crease in the flow may occur afterward. A diaphragm may be used to hold back the flow, and if this is the woman's normal method of contraception she should continue to use it, for although it is unlikely for a woman to become pregnant during her period, it is not impossible.

How can a woman who has never had an orgasm learn how to do so?

One way is for her to enlist the aid of a sexually knowledgeable, sensitive, and understanding man, but perhaps the best method is to use a home study program, such as this: develop the ability to reach orgasm. At first it may take up to 45 minutes of clitoral stimulation to trigger the reflex, but a woman can soon learn to speed up the escalation. Breathing exercises can help: breathe deeply and exhale completely, making sure that there is no muscular tension in the pelvis, buttocks, or groin at the end of the exhalation. Practice building tension with the intake of breath and completely relaxing it with the exhalation.

Another exercise that helps the orgasm reflex is to practice contracting and relaxing the vaginal muscles. Sexual fantasizing can help, too. Don't forget that what makes human sex special is the creative power of the human imagination. As the philosopher Ortega y Gasset wrote in his essay On Love: "Nine-tenths of that which is attributed to sexuality is the work of our magnificent ability to imagine."

What differences between male and female sexual response should a woman be aware of when making love?

Many women still feel inhibited about taking an active part in lovemaking, but the stereotype of the male-dominant, female-submissive type of sex does not usually afford either party the maximum satisfaction. For both, the triggering of the orgasm reflex depends on a complete surrender, so each must provide the other with something to which to surrender.

As arousal escalates in the man, sensation becomes genitally focused, and continued and varied genital stimulation carries him toward his climax. Although a man can reach orgasm within two to five minutes, generally a woman takes much longer, and she should make him aware of her own rate of arousal so that he does not reach his climax too soon and leave her unsatisfied. It is essential to the success of an erotic relationship that both partners help each other to attain full orgasmic satisfaction and that neither settles for less.

However, such sexual satisfaction is predicated on the assumption that a man will be able to control his ejaculation sufficiently well for him to be able to withstand the excitement of entering his partner, thrusting into her vagina, and enjoying all the sensations which go with it while remaining below the threshold of his point of ejaculatory inevitability. This can be challenging, not least because men who have PE tend to be rather anxious when they are in a sexual situation, and the anxiety itself increases their level of sexual arousal. However, with care, treatment for premature ejaculation is available - see www.prematureejaculationtreatmentfacts.com for more information on how this can be achieved.

If a woman discovers that her man has a taste for pornography what should her reaction be?

This problem often causes women distress and frequently appears in advice columns. Often a woman's immediate reaction is a sense of betrayal, as though her partner's sexual fantasies in which she personally does not figure is a kind of infidelity. Another common reaction is a feeling of inadequacy, of having failed, in that she has not been able to give her husband enough love and sexual fulfillment to satisfy him. Sometimes the discovery has proved so distressing to a woman that she breaks off sexual relations and may even seek a divorce.

But these are overreactions, for a man's interest in pornography does not necessarily imply that his relationship with his sexual partner is inadequate or unfulfilling. It is simply a fact that sexual response is quite easily triggered by psychological and visual stimuli, and that men often enjoy the pleasure of sexual arousal with an immediate outlet. In many cases, they carry over the arousal from the fantasy situation into their actual sex lives. In other cases, however, there may be an element of wishful thinking in the fantasizing, and both partners may wish to use these to make their sex life more exciting.

"Mankind," wrote the psychologist Eric Berne, has made a great leap by splitting off the pleasures of sex from its biological purpose, and man is the only known form of life which can deliberately arrange to have sex without reproduction and reproduction without sex." As patriotic members of the human species, Berne maintained, we should be proud of our sexuality, and "anybody who isn't should go back where he came from, which is jellyfish."

With characteristic humor, Berne expressed the fundamentally important change in attitude toward sex that did emerge from the sexual revolution: that sexual love is a natural and beautiful activity, and that it is perfectly legitimate to engage in it purely for its enjoyment. Any kind of sex, even homosexual or adulterous sex, is acceptable, provided that it is "self-liberating, other-enriching, honest, faithful, socially responsible, life-serving and joyous."

A best-seller since it was first published has been The Joy of Sex, edited by Alex Comfort and based on a text written by an anonymous couple, one of them a practicing physician. The book is aptly titled; its highly acclaimed originality for its time (original edition 1972) lay in the fact that it maintained an open and accepting attitude to all kinds of sexual practice in the context of human loving. Also it succeeded in accommodating sexual adventure and permissiveness around the concepts of sexual fidelity. The introductory chapter of The Joy of Sex sums up the benefits of the sexual revolution: "The whole joy of sex-with-love is that there are no rules, so long as you enjoy it, and the choice is practically unlimited... You can have infinite variety to taste. But one needs a steady basic diet of quiet, night-and-morning faithful long term relationship intercourse to stand this experimentation on, simply because, contrary to popular ideas, the more regular sex a couple has, the higher the deliberately contrived peaks...This book is about love as well as sex: you don't get high-quality sex on any other basis."

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Want to know a bit more?

Women who have orgasms which shake their bodies to the core always want to make love more often, more passionately, and more enthusiastically than ever before.

These are the kind of orgasms which can provide women with ecstatic bliss and a sense of complete emotional fulfillment, as well as the amazing (and intensely erotic) experience of female ejaculation.

In fact, whole body orgasms make sex extremely satisfying and rewarding for a woman on every level - mind, body and spirit. As a result, she feels more loving, more sexual, and more open, both sexually and emotionally, to her man.

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How to overcome compulsive masturbation

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End Delayed Ejaculation

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